I write this to let my boy know through a divine source that how much I care for him and how he has changed my life in a positive sense.
When you have grown up my son and are ready to leave the house you have lived in for years, ready to take on the world, enjoy its pleasures, fight its challenges, fulfill your ambitions and expand your horizons…I will be the most satisfied human being to see my nurturing and learning’s play a role in your happiness.
To see you grow and learn and love me has been the most satisfying experience of my life. Your acts and ideas have always filled me with joy.
Yesterday when we were at Ithaca falls and you wanted to cross the river without your shoes on, you looked at me couple of times. I know you were hoping that I will come and hold you and make you cross the river. To your disbelief I stood at my place, ordering you to cross the river quickly. I was busy in my thoughts. Thoughts of capturing the beauty of the nature and showcasing to group of friends later with my creative photography skills. I wanted to capture the moment I was in, for it to see and remember later.
Now I go back in time and realize that I have captured those scenic pictures in my camera but have also engraved an image of my son, with disbelief on his face, hesitation and fear of being alone in my thoughts. I have captured a moment of distrust which I want you to forget and for me to remember.
Later when you took your first step and slipped, you looked at me again for me to come and hold you and pick you up, to give you a hand of care. Rather to your surprise, I stood there stoned and asked you to get up on yourself. This must have been a real heartbreaking for you.
I was still busy with creative venture overlooking the sadness in your eyes. You stood up and crossed the river without any support and further slippages. I could see that satisfaction and sense of achievement in your eyes. I know you missed seeing that same satisfaction in my eyes.
I know you wanted me so badly during this episode, and how much I wanted to come and help you, I had stopped myself, only to give you learning that there will be times when I am not around and you will be alone. Its you and in-yourself you have to believe to fight the treacheries. I wanted you to feel the power of oneself and pleasures of success after you toil hard to attain your goals. I wanted you to feel the happiness of achievement on your own.
I know you missed seeing the sense of content and gratification in my eyes. I wish you will forgive me when you grow up and realize, I was just preparing you for the adversaries of life.
You have taught me how to teach…..